After listening to yet another couple go hammer and tongs at each other in my rooms, I am about to pull my hair out!
Love…what’s that got to do with it! Of course they all confess their undying love for each other, they just can’t like each other or live with each other! Can’t live together, can’t live apart. They need the adrenalin rush that comes from abusing each other! They have the bull be the udder! They cannot grasp that marriage has nothing to do with falling in love or with maintaining an on-going ethos of romanticism.

It’s hard bloody work! It’s about learning to communicate in a clear, unambiguous, congruent, open, honest manner.
Think well before you speak, you obviously cannot retract your ill advised, hastily spoken words. Learn to phrase your thoughts and feelings carefully. Express them at an appropriate time and place. Ask for feedback and give feedback. Be willing to rephrase comments in a more palatable form. Above all, listen to each other intently.
Listen to the meaning as well as the words. Be attentive, focus fully on your partner thus showing your willingness to understand.

Stop all bad behavior! Stop attacking, stop blaming, stop all hair trigger reactions, stop accusing, stop shouting. Take responsibility where it is appropriate. Apologise where appropriate. Forgive and forget past hurts. Move on, do not keep digging up the past. Start a new way of interacting based on mutual respect, compassion, integrity, self-sacrifice, humility, honour. Marriage is about living together in a supportive, caring and nurturing way. Don’t even talk about love if you have not learned to do these things.

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